My Conclusion.

I’ve a conclusion that I recently made up.

Thinking, activates certain fellers(neurons, moron!) up in your brains that usually sit and bask in the radioactive waves emitted by your cellphone. Thus the ability to have an stronger hold in your language and thinking abilities.

Thus I’ve come with another conclusion.

I shud study more and then I can write better.

SerioUsLY? ?-.^? Right……

Uh-oh….my dad’s camera got this shot in our living room. WTF????

The World Is A Cruel Place.

I hate cats.

Yes that’s right. I dislike those feline disasters.

However, I despise the sight of death. Especially in the form of a innocent looking kitten.

So ……..*dramatic mode* while I was travelling home from the wretched and dreadfully sticky market where I packed myself with my weekly supply of poultries and vegetables to make through the week of more work and troubling thoughts, I suddenly was stopped by the sight of a little creature of grey colour. My mind jumped and I applied my car’s anchor’s to it’s maximal capabilities! The tires screeched to a halt, leaving a trail of rubber on the cold and wet tarmac. *eh puki, sound like i’m writing a novel balls*

*Dramatic Mode OFF!, ahbeng mode oN!*

So ah…..the little pussy cat ah………was like in the middle of the road la….
so right, i stop my car annen try catch the feller. I scared la of course, what if people bang my car backside? Die luo!

Then right, i stop la…..aiyo, the stupid cat ah, dun want me to catch him wor. SO he jump run around my car one undercarriage. Then another morally sensitive motorcyclists pull…..i mean, stop his motorobike la beside my car. Help me trap the kitty pussy. So ah, I managed to catch him la….i pull his tail. U noe where he hide? He hide ah……at the inner cavings of my bloody rims. It was so close to the flaming hot disk “blake”.

*Ah beng mode off, menyampah susah mau tulis lidat*

So i pulled the bloomin kitten out of the rims, and proceeded to place him in a safer place. Intelligent old kirksman, couldn’t have more brains and just put him across the drain to make sure he didnt’ cross.

So I threw him there, and ran back to my car. No I didn’t get any claps from the oncoming traffic, they were more like glaring their eyes off at me. WElcome to malaysia, the nation where humanity takes last place and “me first” attitude is in fashion, like the bald head of britney spears.

My mom is a fine example of malaysian attitude. I came in the car, this was what was uttered to me “Why must you go and stop to take the kitten out? Dangerous you know! Never mind la! Cat only what“ 

Now this IRKED me to no end. There isn’t a damnned price to be placed upon any forms of life. Yes, politicans and murderers share about the same sentiment and respect to life, but not as a mother. She shouldn’t have said something as idiotic and ignorant as that.

Anyway, when I was driving back home the same night………………a sight shocked and disgusted me. I literally shouted “ARgh!!! NOO!!!” in the car. Yep, the kitten……….

Somehow, it managed to find it’s way across the bloody drain.

It was lain there, splattered to death, courtesy of some driver’s car tires. Good lord, that was painful. It felt like a glass just went directly through my chest and back out of my arse. ARGH!!!

Spoilt my entire night……..

Shit, are those fake or majorly pushed up? Toldja botox is bad lady.

Boay Tahan……hokkien songs are cute!

I’ve been listening to a few hokkien songs by Ah Niu

They include some with very very cute titles like “Hokkien Lang” and one has a silly ass funny verse that says, translated to english, “See that pretty women, see over this side” (Okay, that was translation in the most crude form, but that’s basically wat it meant in MandriN!!!)

And he’s got this HILARIOUS HILARIOUS song called “Speak My Language”. Despite it’s rather conventional sounding title, the song itself is potrays nothing of the nature of this song. I mean, i swear I’ve nvr heard anybody say “Hey ah loti hey!” in their songs. And he has this funny ass verse in the beggining, that tells you “This ain’t no normal song”.

Among the notably hilarious but meaningful verses include:

“I got to leave my family, my country, to go oversea to study”
“I speak hokkien and mandrin, and I like eating wantan mee” bakuli?

http://www.sharebigfile.com/file/161478/Ah-Niu—Speak-My-Language-MP3.html
http://www.sharebigfile.com/file/161461/ah-niu—hokkien-lang-mp3.html

Hmm, i suddenly found these files hosted somewhere. HEhehe, pretty cool.

Hahaha

Haha, i just found this hella funny. No i’m not some women abuser, my cousin can sue me if I am. It’s just a hella funny pic.

Malaysians Do Not Deserve To Be In Malaysia.

I had a little smirk reading this news. What a conjob these women can be. No disrespect to the other womenfolk though.

Well, not all…..but the younger generation. We, the teens and 20-somethings. We deserve much much better.

We do not deserve to be embarrased by a nation, that cannot restrain their MP’s from speaking stupid comments like “Women who are raped shouldn’t fight back, just enjoy it“, whom cannot guarantee that children sent to national service for 3 months will come back alive, whose prime minister’s office cannot even get through 10 years, whom retards can say “Use bomoh to get back loan money from students“ 

Now go to some online American newspaper and read what is posted on their papers. Read an English newspaper and see what’s written about. Yes at the moment, there’s a lot of Tony Blair being ruled out as prime minister such stories but read the other things. There’re plenty of stupid news, but almost none come from the members of their parliment.

Their papers, are really completely different from the Malaysian papers. (Thank god!)

I feel that we the Malaysian university students are really unlucky. Poor us. This is why;

At 8 years old, kids whose parents are merely trishaw pullers and such, the underprevilleged children, go to school with absolubtly no interest in studying. They’re much more interested in running in the open fields and digging for shells in the sea or catching fish with their bare hands in the river.

They have no intention of achieving the “A” or anything. As time goes by, these kids become 11 years old and teachers start paying little or no attention to these children and they end up dropping out, or going to secondary schools in the worst classes. They eventually drop out as well, and become MC’D despatch boys whom go Mat Rempiting every weekend.

——

We’re interested in learning about computers and electronics, and we couldn’t give two car shits about Bahasa Melayu and Sejarah tanah air. Up till the age of 15 , these boys will be struggling because they’re from a Chinese primary school and speak mostly mandrin at home. By 16, they dropout and end up working in Lowyat instead.

——

At the age of 19, some are in university studying the most interesting course in the world, only to have it taught by fucked up lecturers in a fucked up manner and having to learn other fucked up and COMPLETELY unfuckingrelated subjects.

WE come to university hearing about unique teaching methods, interesting courses and fun activities. We are instead faced with rooms which airconds do not function, lecturers who aren’t in their rooms, taking marketing courses but are forced to learn computer applications (excuse me, windows 95) and advanced managerial statistics (Who the fuck uses this in the marketing world?)

We listen to lecturers, who sound like they’ve just gotta a blob of ink smeared on their tongues and can’t say “Listen class” without having half the class thinking he just said “Kitten sex”. Then when we consult them, they speak of their problems in their home country and suddenly you know why your lecturer can’t say “Listen class”.
He actually just got the job because he had good grades in his Masters, but he never learnt his course in English.

We graduate with a 3.0 CGPA, and get our first job filing papers into cabinets and earn a meagre RM1600 sum in the big city.

Yes my friends, this is the beauty of the Malaysian Education System

Now, think about it……………….and ask yourself “Am I still going to throw an opportunity to study abroad just because I miss my mom’s armpit smell?” If you just did, lemme suggest something.

Open a directory.
Call it “Trading places for students who want to study abroad with a fuckedup stupid me who don’t“
Get your parents to pay for this other kid who wants to study abroad.
Get his/her parents to pay for your education, cuz you wana study here.

The world becomes a much better place.

I Choose My Route.

It’s been tremendously tough these few days, and I really don’t know why. For some reason, this exams are proving to be more difficult than I expected. My finals, as some already know are approaching quicker than a flaming locomotive. It’s due in exactly two weeks. I’ve been finding my place in songs from “The Calling”, “Augustana”, “Rob Thomas” and watching videos by “Lee Hyori”.

This feeling of absolubte dissapointment and annoyance comes everytime I miss a lift. People, whom do not understand the sport of powerlifting, will say, “It’s okay, try again next time. Lighten the weights a little“. I understand the advice but I’m not a bodybuilder. I’m not a fitness model munchken baby kangaroo. I’m a powerlifter, a very small and lighter powerlifter. I’m not an elite yet, far from it.

<–me

The classification lifters (read this, u might learn something) is a lifter that’s able to lift:

An elite lifter 4X his bodyweight.
An intermediate lifter lifts 3x his bodyweight.
A novice (my category) lifts 2x his bodyweight.
God lifts 5x his bodyweight.

This may not sound like much, but for a 170LBS man to lift 700LBS(315KG) is a major feat. (No, nobody has ever done this “RAW“. They’re all equipped)

See, I’m proud of what I’ve achieved in my 6 months of powerlifting. Previously, I was bodybuilding, but after seeing that I will not be able to adhere to the strict dieting, I’ve switched to powerlifting. Powerlifting is the sport of lifting as much as weight as humanly possible in ONE repetition only. Thus called 1RPM.

It’s difficult, really difficult for Asians to ever enter the zone of elites. I don’t really know the exact reason but I’ve never actually seen any Asian powerlifters. I’ve seen powerful olympic lifters from China and Taiwan, but these aren’t powerlifters. Olmypic lifting is more to technique, powerlifting is more to raw, pure strength. Personally, I’ll be happy to lift 3x my bodyweight. Currently this is my stats:

Bodyweight: 165LBS
Squat: 315LBS x 3
Dead: 315LBS x 1 (This video fails to potray it’s difficultness)
Bench: 220LBS x 1
Clean/Press: 140LBS x 3

Total Big 3 Lifts: 850LBS

My short term goal:

 Bodyweight: 165LBS
Squat: 400LBS x 3
Dead: 440lbs x 1
Bench: 265LBS x 1
Clean/Press: 200LBS x 3

Total Big 3 Lifts: 1105LBS

This is where I hope to end up by the day I die.

Bodyweight:200LBS
Squat: 650lbs
Dead: 650LBS
Bench: 400LBS
Clean/Press: 380LBS

Total Big 3 Lifts: 1700LBS

So, you see I put myself through tremendous torture to be much stronger. Why? I choose the wrong sport.

I could’ve went with something much easier like bodybuilding, yoga, tennis, squash, badminton, football, pool, golf,but NOOO, I had to choose powerlifting. Now you may argue that every sport at it’s highest level is also difficult but the injuries list is ridiculous.

In powerlifting, you can break ribs, rupture knees, encounter back problems, crush yourself under weights over 300KG’s, spoil your rotator cuff and a whole list of other ridiculious sounding injuries.

And these injuries WILL happen to any powerlifter. Every powerlifter WILL, not MAY get hurt. I’ve a problematic knee already, so much so i need supplements to lubricate my joints. And it helps not when you have a retarded aunt that laughs about it sarcastically saying “That’s why, lift lift lift weights become like this“

Bitch do you know how difficult it is to hit the gym and say to yourself “I can do it, another day, another fight to win. Metal against me, I win.I MUST WIN” This ain’t fckin aerobics or yoga. This ain’t a sport where you can let your mind slip ONE second. This isn’t a sport where you can say “Ah, I’ll go a lil lighter today, I don’t feel so good”

You step into the rack, you lift the weights on your back. Stepping backwards a few steps as you position yourself, both feel parallel to each other. Breathing in twice and slowly lowering yourself as your legs scream for help as 150KG’S attempt to crush you to the ground. You feel so scared now, so vunerable, yet so strong as you lower yourself below the knee level. Taking another strong breath, you power yourself out of the lowered position. You feel the weight of the bar crushing your 73KG frame but you know if it falls, you’re in a helluva trouble. So you force yourself to power yourself through. Taking another breath, you go down again and repeat this for 5 times.

Then you put the bar back, smile and take a drink, resting and preparing for the next 7-8 sets of madness.

Then when all is done, you take your shake and go home to eat and rest.

How’d you feel having to go through this twice every week, and someone laughs at your injuries? It suddenly becomes a violent war in yourself. To rip the person’s face apart and grind it into flakes of broken bones and flesh? Or to smile and laugh about it.

Laughing at a person’s injuries is as despicable as laughing at a retard’s below 30IQ.

My workout yesterday sucked tremendously. I’m dissapointed, but I know it’s my fault. I missed my pre workout meal and I know how important that meal was. I didnt’ eat right the entire day and I was fooling about in the pool earlier in the morning. WTF was I doing…I know how important it is to not do too much on my lifting days and eat right.

Blergh…..

heheh, no not possible for me.

Just to make sure i have a post on my b’day

Yeap, I’m 20. The big number. The age of which you’re not considered a teenager anymore (which sadly, though unsaid, erases your right to be silly and mad) but you’re not actually an adult for you’re only an adult when you’re 21.

It’s strange to finally hit the big 2. I feel rather sad that I’m no longer a teenager. Even when I was still 19, I felt rather separated from my teenage friends, especially my 17 year old cousin (who looks like 22). The love for them all was still there, but somehow there was a lack of familarity. A strange, unexplainable sense of “responsibility” and awareness despite all the silly screw up bullshit that we did.

This was all apparent in me even before I hit 20. I felt this since I entered college(pre-u) and then university. It made me feel extremely depressed for quite sometime.

I knew I was no longer the old Kirksman, and I felt a definite distance between them. I could NOT relate to my close friends despite how much I wanted to. How much I tried. Though I tried my best to hide it, to conceal the differences, I knew that things were changing.

I didn’t like the changes, I felt more and more like my old man. His boring seriousness, his “objective” view towards everything, his rational ideas which lack imagination. These were all coming into my face.

I can still view things in a very different prespective, but these prespectives….were not linear to my friends. THe closesest people around me. I was slowly becoming more solemn. I started having very different thoughts about many things that we shared in common previously.

It was a definite sign of changes. Maturity? I was often accused of the lack of, but now I feel that I’ve fast fowarded myself a little too far and turned myself into a 30 year old grey haired president of the fishmonger association. My jokes, turned to be far more technical and definitely needed a little neuronic activity.

Yet when given the opportunity to really explore my thoughts and desires (sounds like a JFK poem), I feel an explosive, instinctive need to laugh, run, flip and play. Just to be a kid again. It’s like..it’s a true state of confusion. When I am alone, in the confines of the four walls in my bedroom, maddening thoughts and questions run through my mind. I sometimes, feel like that insomniac psycho that speaks to himself and actively converses to his alter ego. Yet, wheN i’m with people, I feel much more at ease. Like, the less fearful part comes out and tells my mind to enjoy itself and cease worrying.

It’s truthfully an inexplicable feeling when I get to run off like that. It’s pleasureable in the most nonchalantly innocent way. Yet …….ah, forget it. I won’t be able to speak of it. It’s highly complex for me to understand, what more the minds of others whom stand not of my shoes. 

My hands are torn, my mind’s weary, my body’s retreating and I am tired. I’m merely 20. I’m too young to suffer a burnout. Something must be done to make it more meaningful. I need people around me. I can’t isolate myself to the walls of the library and the hard covers of the text books and the pages of those motivational books. I’m not such a person. I enjoy those books, but they are slow eating into my personality like a raving cavity. I’m using speeches that I would’ve never thought would sound familiar to myself. I’m speaking like a raving lunatic, worse of all..to myself. Too much thinking, destroyes sanity, pleasures the mind. The mind when left uncontrolled, and unattended to, becomes a frightening self destructive element.

Blergh……….

Myth=I Am A Nihilist . Fact=You Are An Asshole

I.

Me.

Mua.

Yes I am selfish.

You see, I went off to KL on Friday, to meet my cousins, my friends, go to the hitzfm b’day bash(for like…1 hour?) watch my cousins get their tattoos, go the the F1 race, go to the F1 party and buy “something” Then I abandoned my assignment mates in Melaka while I went to enjoy my ass in KL.

Enjoy? Yeah right, I was concerned bout it all weekend. Then I was supposed to take a “TQM” (For those fools who don’t know what google is, TQM means total quality management) explanation thing about a company for my assignment. However, I reached KL kinda late and I didn’t really know the way to that particular place. It’s not exactly in the middle of KL, it’s more like around the outskirts, around Shah Alam and I definitely wasn’t very well versed on that area. Also we were rushing to meet some people.

Big mistake, the night didn’t end till 6AM. And by the time we woke up, it was already like……1PM? I got a phone call from my assignment mates and got rushed to get the “thingie”. Called the guy, he said he was already out and could only give it to me on Sunday, tomorrow. Can’t do anything already right….so okay la, just gotta go along as the day comes.

Now if ur wonderin how the heck I was gonna pass the “TQM book” to my friends, they wanted me to scan it. Now apparently, they said one of the feller’s bro had a scanner and I could borrow it and scan it for them and send it down. Problem is…..my cousin’s computers require an authorization to install things, and the only person authorised to install is my aunt, who wasn’t in M’sia. I couldn’t get to convey this part to them, and I’m being blamed all day long.

Again this time we came back at bout 4.30AM and slept about 6AM only to wake up at 9AM to get my cousins tattooed. Oh heck, I rushed to meet the feller, go the “book” which was about the size of a kindergarden playbook, took lunch and drove back home.

And that was when I found out how pissed they were….woah, not good. Anyway wat’s done is done, this must be by far the most boring and most terriblest written entry I’ve ever made in my life. Fuk yall.

It gets ya pissed

I almost didn’t want to continue writing this post, cuz I wrote the “Intelligent Quote” thingie and it looked so good I didn’t want to let my horribly written post spoil it all.

Thing is, I’m kinda feeling annoyed with a lil someone who’s bloody important to me. It’s like, what’s happening to that person? Ever since that person went to college, that person’s being more and more ……in a diplomatically sensitive way, problematic. In street terms ………..well fucked up. I guess peer pressure really does change people in ways never thought imaginable.

It was never bout how much cash you had in your pockets, it wasn’t about the stupid brands people who are obsessed with stare at. It wasn’t about all that, there wasn’t any politicking. It was mere talks, laughs. It was almost like girl talk…..with a dude. It’s like, each time the phone was put down, I’d just like call again just to say bye again.

I wish the person still stayed in high school. IT was so much better then. Laughing about the stupidest things in the world, talkin about just about everything and anything. It was fun. Despite the age difference of a few years, it was easy to click. It was amazing how well we could click. I could say, when I arrived home,the first thing I would do was msg this person about how my day was and asked how his/her’s was.

I’m dissapointed with this person. My cousin and I wanna talk to her/him about it, but she/he’s kinda stubborn. And stubborn, is still and understatement. She/he’d never admit he/she’s wrong…and more often than not, can be rather piercing. The words off his/her tongue, don’t seem to follow the right order of the English dictionary. Still, I’m gonna be wearing a “insult/sarcasm” suit and trudge on this battle to returning my beloved friend to his/her former state. I may fail in my “quest” to remind him/her of his/her beautiful former self, but I do not want to regret saying I never tried. If I tried, and don’t suceed……..fuck no I didn’t try hard enough.

Or should i just accept that as we age, we change. Some for the better, some for the worse, and I’m in no position to judge what may be better for him/her? That even my current condition may not be the best, and that perhaps I’m not up to his/her par? And that I should change my pool of friends?

I don’t know…but i love her/him so much, I ain’t givin up without a fight to prove something is wrong somewhere. She/he can screw me and lambast me all she/he wants,but as long as she/he becomes better and doesn’t get viewed as a moron in the eyes of the society and people he/she’s with, i’m satisfied.

Intelligent Quote Of The Day Which Wasn’t Copied:
~Nobody Said You’re Too Old. Only You Set That Excuse For Yourself~

Mau belajao cara buek meggi style kirsman?

Inilah!

Sediakan meggi, air filtered, telur 2 bijik, ngan tuna yang tak habis makan masa breakfast tu pagi tadi.

Panaskan air ngan stove anda.

Ambik telor pas tu ambik tuna lu.

pecahkan sebijik lagi telor tu kat atas tuna tu abih gaol…

Oo shok?

Buang semua kat dalam can tuna tu……..abih tutup tau.

Masak ahhhhh…..

buang mee kat dalam airmedidih tu…..

maut nie…panass

tuang telur ngan tuna kat dalam……shok tak?

Sedap ah?

pas tu buang kat lam tong sampah. Amalkan keberseihan…..

ini adalah optional
ia adalah whey protein ngan susu ngan oats….ngan sikit honey.

SHOKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!