Smoking………

Why the hell’s TMNET so fucked up? Seriously….I’ve never actually read or used or seen a company more messed than TMNET Telekom. Okay, Proton’s an exception, IT’s fucked up beyond words thanks to the government protectionism. Hell that company shouldn’t been started up  anyway. It’s created by a champion, run by losers and fucked like bunnies.

I’m so annoyed by Streamyx lines crashing down like the stocks of Pro’fucking’ton all day long. I’m broke, my exams are over, I’m supposed to have fun and thanks to TMNET, they screw up my holidays. I’m not broke exactly, but I ain’t hoping to be spending all day long out. The weather’s too bloody hot and I’m too lazy. The only reasons I’m going to bother moving my arse outta here would probably be because;

1.       I’ve got training to do.

2.       My friend calls me out to lunch and promises me a good ass wiping while we’re at it.

3.       I’ve gotta send and fetch my brother who can’t even take a fucking bus thanks to the fact his asshole brother’s got a license and a car already.

4.       I’ve gotta buy food.

I hate TMNET. I hate Telekom. I’m studying in a university owned by Telekom. Joy. It’s always what people say, “If you want something, you won’t get it, when you don’t care about it, it comes to you” Right now I don’t care. I just want one simple thing. That is just, gimme my fucking degree and let me get the fuck outta this godforsaken place. I’M INSANELY PISSED with my lack of internet despite my lax portrayal. *Shoots self* This bloomin keyboard isn’t helping much either. With it’s keys …roughness…hardness…..what term should I use…difficult to press’ness (Good lord, the geeks never came for up with a word for “Difficult to press keyboard keys”?) I thus have a stupid tendency to hit the “Shift” key with extra pressure and end up having more than one word with capitals. Like this. “SCCCrewwww you!”

Ah fck………I’ll just write about my

 

“How I learnt about smoking” history.

I think I was about 8. In my grandparents home, I had always seen my grandparents smoking wondering what’s that they were doing. So one of those days, they were having prayers. When we have prayers, we always put some offerings and things like that. Tea, water, wine, liquor, chicken, pork, cigarettes. They would usually burn the cigarettes and let it just burn off. I remember it would always be a gold colored cigarette pack. I think it’s Benson & Hedges.
After prayers, the adults went out to get some things done I think. I got frisky and started fooling about with the dimwit lighter. The lighter was always one of my curious fascinations. Always wondering, how does that thing make a flame?

I tried and tried, and eventually after about 4328 times and another 3282 times I burnt my fingers, I finally got it to light. It was awesome! The flame lit. Okay, now what? I took a cigarette that was left on the table and lighted it up. It took forever to light up. It wouldn’t even burn! I was wondering, how did my grandparents burn it so quickly? I took like what? 5 seconds to get it to light?

I held it pretending I knew all about smoking and showed off to the god statues. Then I heard my parents coming in and I threw it out the window. Case closed.

Then I think when I was 14, my grandparents came over to our place to stay over. I took one cigarette stick and burnt it and figured “OH!! You’ve to suck it in for it to light??” There was this strange taste in my mouth and I just coughed it out. I was absolutely fascinated by the smoke coming out the cigarette stick. I kept sucking it up and just blowing it out and trying to pretend it was clouds or something.

And everything else was history.

However, strangely, I was never addicted to it. I mean, seriously…..I’ve never even gotten it a craving for it. It never mattered to me actually, until I entered university and smoking became more common. I’d smoke when I was stressed or bored. Usually, I could just go around a few months without it. No big deal. Then came clubbing. I didn’t dance, so I’d just drink and smoke the whole night. Few months down the road, I checked my stamina, it dropped drastically. I used to run 10 kilometers in approximately 40 minutes. No big feat but hell…..

Now…even 2 kilometers seems to be a mountain task to me. I could still lift weights, no big deal there, but I couldn’t seem to run. My stamina decreased drastically and my fitness level dropped. Wham! Just like that.

There was a period of about 4 months that I didn’t touch it at all. OH yeah, my stamina increased like a monster and so did my metabolism. I ran nearly  8 kilometers in 30 minutes after that, wasn’t back to my old record but it was good. It was thanks to one of my friends from Thailand, making a promise with me. She’d send me her DVD’s of her acting (Stop the porno thoughts, it isn’t. I’m not even joking) and I would never touch a cigarette again. Hell forever was 4 months. There wasn’t craving la to be frank. It was just the people I hung out with. If the bunch don’t smoke, no problem…..I wouldn’t be smoking. If the bunch smoked, then uhoh….

Thus I’ve decided to just quit. No more smoking. I never really started smoking like a chain smoker, but yeah, my friends got, I’ll grab a stick. Yesterday was the first day off it completely. I just watched my friend smoke with no intention of smoking. There wasn’t even an urge actually. Just a habit I feel. I feel smoking is really overcome able if one can fight one’s habit. It isn’t about addiction, it’s just plain habit. At least for me it is.

Thus, no to smoking. But yes to crack!! Crack is good stuff.  Makes me happy. Then again, I get sugar high very quickly from coca cola (even diet cola……weird…..) and chocolates. So I guess I’ll just remit cigarettes and go with healthy yet sinful treats such as wonderful chocolates!! Max Brenner anyone? Liying? Plis………chocolatesssss…… I promise I won’t bully you for a whole week if you come back with some of his chocolates. The bald man. =D