1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX
IF YOU COULD?
Dun have an ex la…..

2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
T-shirt, designed by …..hehehe

3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR
FRIEND’S LIST?
Yep. I’m okay with it. Alo, I malaysian la, bukan some terrorist la…

4. DO YOU HAVE “A THING” FOR ANYONE ON
YOUR TOP FRIENDS LIST?
Nalahh~

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU
KNOW IN REAL LIFE
quite a lot

6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
 Three. 2 boys, 1 girl. No transvestite.

7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?
So far so good.

8. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE
BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE NOW?
Kirksman Blake Teo (Superman)

9. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH
SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
Not in fuckin hell

10. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST B-
DAY?
I also kenot rememer, i think it was a birthday party at simply fish then went to find pui kin

12. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
6.

13. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT
THREE NIGHTS AGO?
Callin a friend

14. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR
PULLED?
Never got it pulled much

15. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT TO
DO?
Hit 500LBS deadlift.

16. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Jenow

17. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU
COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
Physically, my face, my shoulder width and my muscle mass. 200LBS sounds good

18. IF YOU HAD 250,000 DOLLARS… WHAT
WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?
Invest 200,000 and 50,000 dollars, get a house.

19. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR
CURRENT JOB?
Student….since like forever

20. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
He didn’t like me, so noe

21. DESCRIBE WHAT UNDERWEAR ARE YOU
WEARING?
Boxers, lovey lovey shape 1

22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Tuna and chicken

23. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
November i guess.

24. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
Febuary

25. WHATS THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING
YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
Sebastian.

26. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT
NOW?
…mmmm………some1 la

27. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
rockstarme.com

28. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
dolphin

29. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD?
…teddy bear.

30. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR
BEST FRIEND?
In the head.

31. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK?
Water.

32. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
No money seh..

35. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT
WOULD YOU DO?
Pour more baD stuff annen curse him whole family to death.

My almost monthly kl trip

I jst lorve my camera. This way I can save all the time transffering pics from my friends thru MSN. Sendiri ambik, sendiri upload. Lagi convenient.

Reached KL about 1 something, went to meet someone. Then after that, went to find for miss clarissa.

Oo sungguh camwhore!

Her dad’s got a cool car!! BMW Z3 2.8

THen later my cousins and I went for our friend’s farewell party. Damn we’re gonna miss ya adeline!! Really!

Dorky faced Jule and Wide Smile bes

Hi adeline!! She’s leaving…awww!!

Peixia and me.

This bottle soon proved itself to be really a party pooper for me, and a party maddener for some.

Drink drinK! Drink like alcoholics!

Peixia got high, bes got scared. He was FREAKEd k…..

Trust me, jules wasn’t havin the time of his life.

CH0ccies!

Lesboness is w!ld Damn i missed this scene…i hate being sick

Next day, we went for makan breakfast, after all the craziness and laughter and silliness. And I had to clear up the crap…with sebastian, my trusty loving cuzzie.

He sumhow looks good in this pic. Like model’ike good.

Our makan!

Hey.loo kayi

I duno why also i show the middle finger.

Oh kita sungguh kren!

okay, so this is how they make the prayer sound!!! Try puttin this onto your faace and say “ooooOOOooORGHHH!!” it’ll sound familiar.

It’s a multipurpose thing

Ju spat the thing off immediately afterwards, onto my bag!!

Cuzzie=dork

EeKK!

I shal hear no ebil…..

… see no ebil

speakin the no ebil…

Copycats. Jules say touch no ebil..

i lurve icecream

smashead!1

I dono how jules looks good so quickly

Mafiaman!

oh fuck….

We are soo ghey

10 eyed mongoose

Squeezeite tits

Okay so i is short

so shortttt

freaky w0men

damn the tallhead

boo the joohead

all together nw

 Hapy sweet sixteen sis!!

We were tryin 2 get into the seat.

wat is u lookin at woman?

damn, they look good

Birthday cakey

o yea we like dogs k!

SUPERHEROS, are retarded.

  Superman, Batman, Ultraman, Spiderman, (Cicakman not included, that’s a moron), Mr. America, Wonderwoman, Flash…all these guys, aren’t idiots. They’re strong and they have abilities to do cool stuff like spring a web over KLCC and make a safety net so goons like me can backflip off the KLCC bridge and laugh at myself when my shoulder pops over my head.Wanna know who are idiots?People with abilities such as mind-reading, tissue regeneration (yes I’ve been watching Heroes) flying abilities, painting the future, temporary mimicking of other super powers that KNOW and BELIEVE they have such skills but do not dare to tell people that are close to them. Americans are predictable. At least their comics are. It’ll always be the story of a person that’s a complete whore bum that’s about to lose everything even his wife and girlfriend because of such superpowers.Then they’re like “Oh u ain’t gonna understand, you won’t believe it” C’mon if you really do have such powers, just tell them and then prove it to them by doing a demo. Then they’ll probably sex you all night love you like hell.

That’s how REAL people would’ve done it. Place upon my ears that clichéd statement of which “Superheroes are different that’s why they don’t work the way normal people do” and I swear to my size 11 feet I will jam my toes into your eyeballs from the back.This way it’ll protrude and perhaps you’ll see more of the world instead of having your eyes stuck into those tiny sockets of conservatism and disbelief of everything unfamiliar and different to you. I mean, how’dyah KNOW for sure I don’t got no superpowers? Oh yeah, well….true, I can’t exactly seem to tie my own shoelaces without tripping off them and I can’t clear my nose without getting mucus stuck all over my fingers.But STILL??? Okay, the show has characters of 12 powers. I shan’t go into further details but I’ll list their powers.

-Spontaneous tissue regeneration
-Walking through walls
-Predicting the future (with 100% accuracy) through a canvas
-Manipulate space and time (aka freeze time, teleport, reverse and fast forward time)
-Listening to people’s minds.
-Fly
-Mimicking powers of others while in close proximity and clairvoyance (Telling tales from lookin at an item)
-Technopathic (Communicating with MACHINES and COMPUTERS!! How exciting)
-Superhuman strengthOkay, all of us are probably going to have a different reasons of how these powers are going to be of use to us. For me, I’d have to say I’d like to have the ability to manipulate space and time.Reasons, alright reasons, of which why I’d like to have that ability.

1. I may not be able to predict the future, I might not be able to listen to the minds of others, but I CAN DECIDE the future. I can see what my partner desires and wants and then fulfill it.
2. If my pepperoni beef lasagna becomes screwed up, I’ll just freeze time and go steal one off some Italiano restaurant that sells it.
3. I can see who’s going to become a mess up and who’s gonna be a success in future. The ones who’ll b screw ups, I’ll help them now and the success ones, I’ll screw them up so it becomes balanced. =D How noble of me.
4. Imagine how cool it’d be to teleport into a stripper club? Minus all the bouncers and the entrance fees? Imagine how cool it’d be to transport myself into a bribing Malaysian politician, and catch him in action with another whore (which I set-up) and take photos of him and distribute it all around the country?? I could even just trip him, and put a 5” knife right in front of his chest so it’ll look like a freak accident. Then I’ll drive away with his Hamann tuned Ferrari 599 which he bought thanks to siphoning out the money of the public.I can list a hundred more ways of why controlling space and time is the coolest power to have but don’t want already la. I mean, I already have the rest.I can communicate with PC’s and machines through something called a keyboard. I have superhuman strength. I mean, tell me which mosquito can out-lift me? My tissue regenerates too, just a lil slower than spontaneous. Maybe like a couple of months. I can walk through walls, I use a door. I can predict the future (if I have the above mentioned superpower) I can listen to their minds too. It’s called body language. I can even fly, I use parachutes then the final 10 feet, I get stuck onto a tree and put a superman pose. IT’s technically flying.

I tell you, I am a superhero. My dad did the right thing, he named me “Kirksman” and Lydia and YY helped by giving me my superhero boxers

World, say hello to the newest powerfuldest superhero in the world.

EDIT: Nvr mind……michelle asks me to remove it.

WTF is happening?

AH!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell just happened?? MY cousin’s going to Inti Nilai to study. It was just supposed to be a visit to check out the campus and now he’s just going to study there. WHAT THE HELL??????

 That leaves me alone in Malacca…..he just visited the campus and now he’s gonna study there??????

ARGH!!! I’m pissed!!

that means there’s nobody left in malacca….

he is my only buddy in malacca….

he’s the only guy that i could talk my crap out, do shit, play around, gym and disturb with, crack, drink …

he’s my closest buddy

I thought it was gonna be in March!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like choking someone damn it……

he’ll come back all weekend, but godamn it…the weekdays will be boring as hell….urgh. FVCK!!!!

Ahh a natural high…

I found my granny’s blog!! I wonder how the hell I could type it wrongly. All the while I’d type, “taleanskivonderolf.blogspot.com” but then recently for no reason, i typed it as taleanski_vonderolf.blogspot.com. No wonder I could never get to access it. Yes till today I don’t know what it means.

————–

You have GOT to love chocolates. Chocolatessssss………

I for one, LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolates! Okay, I know I sound bimbo as heck when I say this. However, I’ve a reasoning to just about everything, except two things. (Why a cow says woof in my dreams and why I hate certain people for no reason)

Chocolates, give the tastebuds a treat and makes them dance like there’s no tomorrow. Chocolates, thanks to it’s darkish brown colour makes it look extremely inviting. They look damnned classy as well. If you’re wondering how chocolates look classy, I can only make two assumptions onto you and either one’s going to be accurate.

1. You’ve been eating way too many wafer chocolates and not REAL chocolates.
2. Get the hell out of your girlfriend’s “va-j-j”. You need to see more of the world.

Chocolates are real mood elevator. It’s the finishing touch to a near perfect scenario. Like a lady’s night out, ladies will be gossiping about who’s had their share of the biggest cock’s on a chocolate. The men’ll be at a strip club pouring hot chocolate on the stripper while licking it off quickly afterwards.
Children will be runnin about in their payjamas while holding up a bar of chocolate running wildly towards “Max” the dog.
The crack of the bar, the pleasure of leaving a small cube onto the tongue while waiting for it to melt slowly while the tongue savours the maximal delight from it’s sweet juices. The temptation of popping cube after cube for many hours (in my case, minutes) whilst watching a romantic comedy with a loved one. [Quote from "Just Married", "Mexican Food, that's an oxymoron!"] 

 HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s a small problem with chocolates for me. Being a chocoholic, I love chocolates. Problem is, my body doesn’t drain heat that well, so it’s either I can drink lots of water or perhaps suffer a terrible throat afterwards. Now that’s no big deal……this is the bigger “probleM”

I turn into a hyperactive buffon when I’m on chocolates. It hits my cousin sebastian as well, but his comes earlier and is less bad an effect. He’ll laugh stupidly at nothing at all, and just smile all the time. I however……will disturb people around me.

I once ate 1/6 of a chocolate. I ended up running about wildly around the house, chasing his dog, wrestling the dog and biting it’s paws. Then I drove back home screaming at motorists inside my car while blasting some “Groove Coverage” songs. I was helluva happy.
Then I reached home and laughed at my parents and grandparents. Then while eating, I just did some karate thingie to my mom and pretended I was going to kick her. I jumped OVER literally, OVER my mom and banged the grill. That was quite painful. Then when that was done, I did a flying kick to my dad, only to kick my own feet and before I could leave the ground, I was lying down groaning. Well at least I know my kicks are bloody hard……

Then after that I went for dinner with my friends, while disturbing both of them throughout the entire trip. I took photos of myself with my friend’s camera and put it as his wallpaper. I never do that. Then I hugged my friend when she came into the car and TOTALLY freaked her out. I say “HI” to an auntie in the car opposite but she didn’t say anything to me back. Mean woman….Then I shouted with the windows winded down making people think I was high on crack or juice. I continued chasing my other friend’s dog around the house and me myself also jump jumpin like a cat trying to get into a larder.

It was some wild shit that night……if I was to be given bars, an open space I probabbly would be swinging my ass to the police station.

So, chocolates, good or not? I’d say yes. It gives me a natural high, it has no nasty side effects (except for a sore throat) and it’s not detrimental to my health. Alcohol sedate, chocolate high. There’s something seriously wrong with my body.

Intelligent Quote which I will run out in 3 posts: “It’s not meant to be easy, if everything was easy, everybody would be great, and great wouldn’t be great. It’d be Paris Hilton” – Kirksman The Chocoholic.

Furkeyyy….

Well, I didn’t get my good night call tonight. So…..I dunno, it feels incomplete. I’ve this cool “intuition” that’ll tell me if she’s gonna call to say good night. It’s been pretty damnned accurate, like give take 10 minutes. I’ll usually lie in my bed, and within 10 minutes, she’ll call. It’s been accurate as hell for at least 5 times. Today, I tried to sleep earlier, cuz I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get a phone call.

Yep, no phone call. I can’t sleep. It’s 4.20AM, I don’t stay up this late. Reason I still am awake, is cuz I feel a funny, yet uncomfortable heavy feeling. I’m thinking too much again. I don’t like thinking to much, according to my significant her, she says “Don’t think, it hurts your brain” I’ve got to say, she’s the smartest thing at 17. I’m not a phedophile, I don’t believe in Chinese taboos, and I think it’s a fine age.

“Don’t focus on the problem. Don’t keep thinking about the bad things, don’t keep thinking about the future. Focus on what’s happening now, and how to make the best of it. Reminisce the times you spent with the people you love.” Not something the average 17 year old would say.

I’m dying, absolubtly dying to meet her…….we agreed to wake each other up, but on her side of the plate, she can’t. Due to some unforseen circumstances. I know I’m not, not supposed to keep thinking about the problem. I’m allowed to think about her, but I’m not allowed to keep thinking about “How”. I’ve gotta calm down, I have to. I’ve got too many things running through my head.

I’m again going to prove myself an annoyance. For I am beggining to sense much irritance from the people around me. I’m happy that I can hide behind a computer without seeing them in recent times. For they’re really making me pissed and I don’t have a clue why I’m feeling this way. The unconvincing grunts, don’t sound important to me anymore. I somehow fail to share the pity that I used to for my counterparts.
I desire more intelligent acquaintances. I’m feeling a sense of phoney superiority which I know is miles from the truth. Yet I cannot help but feel undermined, diluted, emasculated when communicating.

 I’m dying to meet her. Yet circumstances permit against my will. I hate what’s happening right now. I shouldn’t be with anybody right now, I’m so volatile. I hope she’s great. We’re only 134KM away, I could arrive in her doorsteps in an hour. I just want to see her…..this is ridiculious. I never thought anybody could chip away my stoneyoutlook. I hear her voice everyday, 6PM is the time I look forward to. Don’t anybody call me at 6. I won’t pick up. We don’t have enough time. I flip when she calls. I dip when she hangs up. I wonder if she feels the same?Too many questions.

I won’t say it. It’s too unnatural for me. Yet I want her to know, I sincerely do.

I feel spastikfied already.

Work….work….

Despite what many people think, working isn’t as fun it looks. Sure you earn bucketloads at the end of the day, but without a proper qualification, you’ll be earning peas and seeds. I think I’ve worked like at least 7 jobs, not one lasting more than 2 weeks. (Alo, they were temporary jobs only la, contract based)

Anyway, I’ve finally gotten a more permanent part-time job. I notice the paradox in that statement but allow me to clarify to crystal clear perfection that even the blind will see at least a speck of logic.

Anyway, I’m currently working as a waiter in a club, Pure Bar. This is like my first week there and it’s been pretty damnned difficult. The job’s pretty simple but because it’s terribly simple, it’s an insult to my capabilities. I’m not some fool that says “Wah, kerja nie shok tau. Tak yah buat banyak, ambik minuman, kasi customer, ambik bil, ambik tips. Tu jer” Dude…..what do I look like? I’m yellow, for peeled orange sakes!! I don’t mind tips, but I really can’t rest like that.

That’s basically what they all do, they just stand and wait for customers to come in. And when a customer comes, they rush to the customer to take orders in hope that they’ll leave tips. Usually they do, know why? Bcuz the cashier gives at least RM1 of coins. So usually ppl cudn’t really care less about the coins and leave the coins as tips. It’s great for us, but …..RM1 a table? What the heck’s that about? At the end of the day, I’ve collected enough tips to…..pay my 1 night’s petrol back home? Buy nasi goreng pataya for Adelene who eventually can’t finish it and leaves it for me to gobble up?

The manager said that I could try bartending next week. I’m really looking forward to that. I’m WAYYYYYY more interested in mixing drinks instead of bringing drinks about here and there. What the heck do you learn out of that? How to open bottles and how to light up glasses when they make “Flaming Lamborghini” I wanna learn howda make “Sex with the bitch” or “Canadian Hangover” or BLOWJOB
Hehehe that could be fun….

The pay as a waiter’s okay. It’s RM5 an hour or about RM35 a night. Then you get about 5 bucks of tips at least. SO it’s RM40 a night. I work 3 days a week. So it’s say about RM120 a week, or RM480 a month. That’s a partimer’s pay so it ain’t too bad. The guys say they usually get about RM550 inclusive of tips so I’ll look forward to that. Maybe I can buy more iTalk cards and change my car absorbers cuz they suck like fuck.

However, as a bartender, you work 4 nights a week. Work under high pressure and constantly making more drinks. You get RM900 a month, fixed. Tips are quite usual if the customer sits on the bar. SO we’re looking at about RM950+- a month. That’s pretty okay for four days of work and stil studying.

Work work work……..if any goonhead complaints about having to study and that their homework is hard, I will volunteer to smack that moron in the head and stuff a bamboo stick into their arsehole hard and circumcise them. Work is much harder than studying. Working AND studying is bloomin difficult. So you get to just study, please freakin study and shut up. You don’t got to study/work at the same time.

I can always take the easy route and rely on my parents pocket money, but is that gonna make me grow up? Nah……I’ll probably be like those naive goons that think money grows off their parents ears. I think i’ll live the harder life now and enjoy the lazy life when I reach 50. No wait……I’ll be at my peak at 50, I’ll enjoy the lazy life at 60. No wait, that time I’ll need to think of expanding my business to even the nooks and corners of the world into unheard of places like wat…Uganda? Botswana? Okay I’ll enjoy life at 65 then. Promise.

 Viagra come to papaaa!~!!

Come to me !!

Hoi stay away from my face bitch!

Ahhh..come and say “I love you” and you shall get a nice hard bump.

Woo!! Kembang kecut lubang hidung aku melihat panties yang cantik.

That’s it ah? Chiu……

I’m acting really cute here, c’mon….come kiss me. You know you want to

I said kiss, asshole. Not pinch.

MY breakfast…..and post workout meal.

AhHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHOCOLATES!!!! YUMMEEE

GuesS what?

I like liquor.

It makes my brother take off his pants.

Empty bottles make me sad……

Even pink panther likes alcohol!

“All i need now, is a nice good shag. C’mere woman!!”

I’m flyying!

Still in the christmas mood!

Even chrissy likes

“I’m comiin for you chrissy!! Come to pappa!!!!!! “

Vegetarianism….

I’ve a theory.

Vegetarians are evil.

Like everything in this world, I have a reasoning.

My reasoning is this;

This world, has a cycle. It’s got a system, a system that shouldn’t be gone against. It’s so well planned by nature (God then, if you’re a Christian or some other religion that believes in god) that if you were to change the cycle, you’ll get into trouble.

See what happened when man decided to play nature and come up with all the pollution disasters. See what happened when man introduced the contraception pills (Hello blood!!) . See what happened when men created Viagra (Thanks Pfizer) Look what happened when you don’t BREASTFEED! (Me….)
<–my nostrills look like caves from here.

So in that sense, it’s always better to follow what nature believed or planned.  I mean, just because you find it evil to slaughter an animal, doesn’t mean it’s wrong to eat it. There’s a reason why you’re a pornstar and not a taxidermist you know.

Forget the reasoning such as;

1. It’s cruel to kilL.

2. Its inhumane to eat an animal just to satisfy your hunger.

HellO??? Like, a tiger kills storks to eat.
A lion kills chihuahuas to munch on.
Paris Hilton kills intelligence and braincells to look pretty and stupid.

It’s just the cycle. It’s not rocket science we’re talking here. So what, you think it’s all that good to be a vegan? Let me tell you something.

When you plough the fields to plant your wheat, do you know how many worms are destroyed in that process. Is that not murder?
When you wash the plants, do you know how many microrganisms are destroyed in the process? And how many more are crushed when you chop the veggies and how many more are annihilated when you boil them? Excuse me, gazillions!!
When your farmer sprays insecticide to ward off insects, the insects are left without food and thus die. Is that not murder, pray you answer?

Murder is everywhere, so don’t talk principles here. One may argue it’s indirect murder, but since when did you slaughter that pig you were about to serve for as “Char siu fan”?

Right on. Next.

But first, let me tell you men that ….Britney’s boobs are fake. And let me tell you women, Christiano Ronaldo isn’t available.

When you don’t eat an animal after it’s killed, what would we call that?
Waste. So people always say “Don’t waste, thus when you dump that poor animal carcass away, you’re wasting. That’s SINFUL!

So people, please eat meat. It’s protein, iron and a whole lot of minerals. Sometimes you even get the unremoved hair. How wonderful is meat!! Wanna be muscular bois? Meat meat meat and more meat!

Women? Meat has NO carbohydrates! So no guilt. Except for the fat part maybe, but take the “chucK” or the “Breast” then.

Food=meat=Food

Veg=shit rub

Argh……

That’s exactly how I feel. Each time I hear my mom’s voice…..it’s like listening to the shudder of the darkest, most narcissistic, vile monster that ever existed in the history of womankind. She’s just ….urgh……she can’t seem to leave me alone. This is what she’ll be like;

1. “Kirksman!! Come and see the ants. You never clean properly right?”
Like WTF? Why ask me see the ants? Like I’ve never learn ant’s anatomy (Wait…have I?) Can’t you just freaking clean it up, or just get me to clean it up? Why should I look at stupid ants???

2. “Kirksman!! Come help me change gas”
Wah fuckin tiu!! This one I paling benci. I cannot STAND it everytime she asks me to change the gas. What the fuck’s so difficult about changing the gas that you must interrupt me when I’m busy ……watching MTV. Can’t you ask my brother? He’s busy watching Spongebob Squarepants for Garfield fatfuck’s sakes!!

3. ”KirksmaN!!! Help me answer the phone!!”
Naweh!! What the hell…..you’re the one so crazy about answering phones. Where else do you find a person that runs after a phone, about 10 seconds after someone else has picked it up? She’ll run and shout “HelLO!!!?” when I’m already talkin with my friend about the size of Bush’s brain.

4.Mum - “Kirksman wat time you come back yesterday?”
Me- “I duno….”
  Mum- “4AM!!”
Me- “Hor? Mmm….”
  Mum- “Why you come back so late??”
Me – “Got things to do”
  Mum- “Wat things??”
Me- “Rape monk”. *Slams door*

Ish!!! You know what time I come back wat for you ask sumore? Anyway, if I’m back late I ALWAYS have somethin to do. Be it stealing candy, killing a snail, smoking weed, injecting meth, drinking liquor or screwing a nun, I HAVE something to do. So what the hell do you care anyway? Christ sakes!!

5. “You wearing your piercings again?”
NUMBER ONE! Woman….you cannot WEAR your piercings. You can wear studs, barbells, earrings. You cannot fucking wear PIERCINGS!
NUMBER TWO! You see a barbell hanging down my lip. What the hell does that mean? I’m stapling a barbell on it? Obviously I’m wearing it. Pretty blatant I must say. I don’t care if you can’t accept my piercings, but I’m not removing them for you. I DON’T care if you can’t accept my tattoo, I’ CAN’T remove it.And I’m FUCKING WELL gonna tattoo my leg when I reach 21. Trust me!

“I think I’m proving a point here…..stop laughing.”

Bleargh!!! Someone get me outta here!! It’s fuckin embarrasing that at 20, I’m supopsed to be matured and wise but all I think about is leaving the annoying voice of my mom. Bleargh!! She drives me crazy!! Can I have my brain back please? I don’t care, the moment I’m 22 and graduate, the first thing I’m going to do, is take a train to Thailand, then travel to Cambodia and Myanmmar and then to Penang and then fuck off to some other country where I can work and run away from my mom’s tiresome “close to falsetto” voice.

Good heavenly lord, don’t take me. Teach me. What the hell do I do when faced with a woman like this?

She can’t say things in a nice way. One thing that pissed me as fuck till today was when I cooked my tuna and eggs. She cooks boring ass food when it comes to lunch, so I decided to add my own nice tasting food to liven up my plate. This is what she shouts at me “Got rice! Got soup! Cannot eat ah?!”

KNNTIUNMH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *&X^X%$*%&^(##!!!!!!! Expletive Expletive ExtravaganzzA!

Can you speak in a proper tone and manner? IT wouldn’t kill to say; “I have soup and rice in the larder. Wouldn’t that be sufficent?”

Ahh…how humane.
How…..nice. How ….civilized. How………English. Just because we live among people who are retarded and low in manners, doesn’t mean we have to act like them? Malaysia is the rudest country in the world, but we can always stand above the others and cultivate a more well mannered system of speech and action.

Moms need to learn this.

Don’t say;

1. Hoi!! Soften can not?!!
2. Change channel!
3. Why come back so late!??
4. You dowan eat ah!?

Say.

1. Would you kindly reduce the volume? (And put a sharp sound to it, it’ll sting more than SOFTEN CANOT!??)
2. I was actually watching the other channel, but that’s okay….
3. You’d better have a good explanation on why you’re so late
4. Aren’t you joining us for dinner/lunch?

I mean, its a few words more, but it’s polite and civilized. CIVIL, CIVIL. Understand?

Else, if you’re so Malaysian and think that’s nonsentical, try this instead.

1. Softer please.
2. My house, My TV boy…
3. So late. Why ah?
4. Not eating ah?

Also can right? Naweh….parents must come to me for “How to speak to children, 101″

AND NEVER SCREAM AT THEM WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO TALK TO US!! Scream at us AFTER we make you mad.

ahhh relax……